Jokes thread

Discussion in 'The Lounge Bar' started by Gage, Mar 25, 2006.

  1. canuck

    canuck Closed Account

    A resurgence of beaver jokes!!

    Owen will not be amused.
     
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  2. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

     
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  3. canuck

    canuck Closed Account

    INDIA.jpg
     
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  4. Chris C

    Chris C Canadian

    Comic from the Guardian Review which I know will resonate with some of us!

    books.jpg
     
    Ewen Scott, Tolbooth and SDP like this.
  5. Robert-w

    Robert-w Banned

    Maybe Cats had a better strategy - see R Kiplling Just So Stories.
     
  6. ozzy16

    ozzy16 Well-Known Member

    Wrong Answer,

    WIFE > What would you do if I died ? would you get married again ?

    HUSBAND > Definitely not !

    WIFE > Why not- don't you like being married ?

    HUSBAND > Of course I do.

    WIFE > Then why wouldn't you remarry ?

    HUSBAND > Okay, I'd get married again.

    WIFE > You would ? (with a hurtful look on her face)

    HUSBAND > (makes audible groan)

    WIFE > Would you live in our house ?

    HUSBAND > Sure it's a great house.

    WIFE > Would you sleep with her in our bed ?

    HUSBAND > Where else would would we sleep ?

    WIFE > Would you let her drive my car ?

    HUSBAND > Probably, it is almost new.

    WIFE > Would you replace my pictures with hers ?

    HUSBAND > That would seem like the proper thing to do.

    WIFE > Would she use my golf clubs ?

    HUSBAND > No, she's left handed.

    WIFE > --silence-- -

    HUSBAND > Oh Bugger............


    Graham.
     
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  7. Blutto

    Blutto Banned

    Sorry to those who are ill-disposed to furry aquatic mammals, but we need more beaver jokes.

     
    canuck likes this.
  8. canuck

    canuck Closed Account

    What do Tehran and Hiroshima have in common?

    Nothing! Yet............

    tehran.jpg
     
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  9. Robert-w

    Robert-w Banned

    They do say the old ones are best. That joke was being made in 1990 with weather forecasts for Baghdad - as I was downwind in the Gulf at the time they weren't that funny
     
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  10. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

  11. A-58

    A-58 Not so senior Member

    "WTF was that?"

    What the man said that survived the atomic blasting of Hiroshima.

    "There it is again!"

    What the man said that survived the atomic blasting of Hiroshimo said when he got home to Nagasaki and was explaining to his wife about his business trip to Hiroshima. Legend has it that she really didn't believe him at first.

    Really dudes, there was a two time veteran of the atomic blastings of Hiroshima AND Nagasaki. There's no telling what he actually did say at the time, I just made it up. Well I thought that it was funny.

    Tsutomu Yamaguchi - Wikipedia
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2020
  12. Robert-w

    Robert-w Banned

    Another double is the lady who was on the Titanic and then survived the sinking of her sister ship in WW1. Probably given a lifetime ban on White Star ships thereafter.
     
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  13. A-58

    A-58 Not so senior Member

    I think that I read that she survived three sinkings in all.
     
  14. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

     
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  15. canuck

    canuck Closed Account

    ............and forever after referred to as Lady Jonah.
     
  16. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

  17. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

     
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  18. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

    George gets mistaken for head of Aryan Union.

     
  19. A-58

    A-58 Not so senior Member

    SDP, Dave55 and canuck like this.
  20. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

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