Given the nature of rodents' teeth one should be careful not to deploy them anywhere near any personal objects one would not want bitten.
Guilty! Ask Stolpi. One of the big attractions of extended canoe trips is that the world becomes your bathroom.
Isn't part of the advice that if you are suddenly confronted by a bear in the woods that you should throw sh*t in its face to distract it? People ask "Where will I find sh*t to throw at it?" And I say "When you are confronted by a bear, there won't be a problem finding sh*t"
Not sure this is from the World Health Organisation but given escalation on all fronts due to the virus some useful information here on how different countries are coping. The virus has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the Bastard.” They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.” The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.” Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level. The Russians have said “Its not us”
Thats not fair - I love Tunnocks products - now I cant find them on the shelves, are they being held at the border ? TD
Looks like covid19 has reached Germany, after towels were spotted on hospital beds. Now I am self-isolating, I've had to start talking to my wife. Apparently, she's been made redundant from Woolworth's. In light of recent panic buying supermarkets have introduced purchase limits: Tesco: 2 hand sanitisers, 24 toilet rolls Sainsbury's: 1 hand sanitiser, 18 toilet rolls, 2kg rice Morrisons: 12 rolls toilet paper. 1kg rice Aldi: 2 trumpets, 1 diving suit, 1 Mig welder With everyone locked down in their own homes and bored out of their minds with TV and U Tube, there will be a baby boom. The resultant children will be known as "coronials".
If the bank returns your cheque marked "Insufficient Funds," call them and ask if they meant you or them.
In Germany they're panic-buying sausages and cheese, which makes it a Wurst Käse scenario. Some seriously Sauerkrauts out shopping today. A truck driver was caught smuggling Europeans INTO Syria…. In Italy of course it's pasta joke! I pizza'd myself at that!
