Seeing as you all like the insanity that is the 3 Word Story so much, i have decided to nick another thread from the SFX Forums. God bless the anoraks. It's a Battle Royale. I shall give you the first two combatants, then i want the next poster to decide who would win and why. It doesn't have to make sense, as outlandish as you want. You then have to give the winner a new opponent and then next poster then decides and so on and so forth. So here's your first battle: - Herr Gruber ('Allo 'Allo) V Bomber Harris Who would win and why? Over to you boys and girls.
Herr Gruber wins. He totally fails to prevent Fairfax and the other shot-down airman from escaping to the UK, principally because he stops and gives them a lift in his little tank when they hitch a lift. Their experience in the little tank leave them with post-traumatic stress. Harris is not amused by the gift of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies. On return to ops, they succeed in confusing the whole of Bomber Command by speaking English in a bad French accent and refusing to Say Anything More than Once. Bomber Command declines into chaos; German infrastructure has to be destroyed by P47s alone. Next opponent for Gruber: Captain Mainwaring (which I think is the proper spelling of Mannering), and the Bexhill on Sea Home Guard. Adrian
<TABLE id=HB_Mail_Container height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0 UNSELECTABLE="on"><TBODY><TR height="100%" width="100%" UNSELECTABLE="on"><TD id=HB_Focus_Element vAlign=top width="100%" background="" height=250 UNSELECTABLE="off">Mainwaring and the Hone Guard hands down! Gruber, whilst he has his little tank, is totally flummoxed by Frasers doleful scottish tones, and whilst he is trying to line up a shot at them Jones's inability to stick with the rest of the troop causes the tank to give up in embarrassment. At this Pike's scarf gets caught in the wheels and causes the tank to come to a grinding halt besides Jone's truck, which promptly goes bang because of the gas bag on top. Gruber is caught and handed over to the authorites as Uncle Arthur goes home for tea with Mavis. Next opponents for mainwarign and his men: - Oddball (Kelly's Heroes) </TD></TR><TR UNSELECTABLE="on" hb_tag="1"><TD style="FONT-SIZE: 1pt" height=1 UNSELECTABLE="on"> </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
Oddball. His crazyiness and "postive waves" from Kelly allow him and his tank to overcome the homeguard and be victorious. The home guard are confused by the tank with a hippy commanding it and marvel and the paint shells before being over run. Next opponent: Richard Burton (the guy he played in Where Eagles Dare)
Richard Burton. Oddball starts another conversation about "positive vibes". Maj. Jonathan Smith calmly listens to him while they go for a walk. Once out of sight they come to narrow path, the Major lets Oddball go first and stabs him in the back suspecting that anyone as bizarre as Oddball must be a double agent. The Duke in the Longest Day.
Ooh, tricky this one. But i think The Duke! Burton is good and gives the Duke a good slap around the fizog, but the Duke is back on his feet in no time and takes Burton down with a fantastic left hook he learnt on the set of Rio Bravo. Burton then decides to stay out of the way and sods off to the pub. The Duke is just celebrating his victory with a quick swagger around the ring when who comes wandering in from the left? (I so want to put in Spidge, but I think I'll save him for a tougher fight than this) The Duke must now face the might of: - Richard Todd!
